30 Days 'Till 30

I turn 30 in exactly one month.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. I mean, I've spent so much of the past year dreading this day, that now that's it's almost here, I'm almost relieved. I keep telling myself that it's just a number, but I also can see myself saying things like "You're 30 now, you should start dating again." or "You're 30 now, take out your tongue ring." I think that I'm just nervous. Nervous that I'm not in the right place at 30. Some friends my age have kids, are married, and own a home. Am I ready for any of those things? I definitely am too selfish right now for kids. I can barely go on three dates with a guy, much less get married. And for me to buy a place in Boston, I'm probably going to need two incomes. So 2 and 3 go together.

Oddly enough, the people who I know who are married, with kids, and own a home are all my straight friends (Jed and Jon being an exception with basically two out of three). Hmm, I wonder if gay men settle down later in life on average?

Basically, I have to stop comparing myself to other people my age, and just compare myself to me. I have a good job, I'm getting a great apartment, I have fantastic friends, so really...I guess I'm ready. But that doesn't mean you won't find me huddled in the corner crying on the night of March 12th.