"Excuse me, your nipple is in my burrito"

The evening was a typical gathering at F & R. Frozen strawberry margaritas, 8 chicken burritos, and Marco – licking the breast of the female food runner. I wish I was exaggerating… Her name is Fatima, by the way, and she recently had butt implants. She wanted to take us all home to Brazil and dress Marco up in her mother’s dresses…for realz. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.

After dinner, as we were exiting the restaurant, a group of probably gay maybe bisexuals walked by. Marco yelled “Hey dirty daddy.” Naturally. The Dirty Daddy turned around and said, “Dirty?” How does Marco respond? “I wish I were your friends bike seat.” Awesome. The arch angle of near gay bashing must have been sitting on Marco’s shoulder, because we weren’t stabbed.

I rode Tim’s bike for half a block. It’s different riding a bike that’s not stationary with hard core techno music in the background. That, and Tim likes to ride with the seat so high up, I thought I was getting a colonoscopy. Probably not a good idea after Tex-Mex.

One drunken T ride home later, we ended up at 130 West Newton to watch the debate. Tim passed out “Palin Bingo” sheets. Set up like a bingo board, it basically had catch phrases like Maverick, Main St, Special Needs, etc…and you won if you got 5 across, down, etc. Zoeller won, I didn’t. The debate was still interested and Palin did better than I expected. I also drank a bottle of Chardonnay.

Because I didn’t want to drink and go to Estate last night, I ended up drinking and going to Estate last night. A litre of Strawberry Margaritas and a bottle of $7 wine go great with a Long Island Iced Tea, made with the alcoholic abandon of a gay club bartender. So yeah, I could only do that one drink. I danced with Marco, molested Tim, and pretty much had a typical night at Estate. Oh, I also said hi to Carson from Queer Eye. For the second time at Estate. He said “Hi.” And I said “Hello again, Carson.’ He looked a little confused. Then he went and danced with some hot 20 yr old tall boi on the dance floor. Oh well, Queer Eye is SO 2003.

Today, woke up wicked tired, and that was the worst of my hangover. Got through work, and now I’m enjoying the MBTA train to Newburyport, where I can spend a relaxing evening with my parents, watching 3rd Rock from the Sun DVD’s at 100 decibel volume and going to be at 8pm. Good times.

Gauisus Indepence Dies America.

Thursday, I got up and went to the gym with Peter. Peter and I took a long walk around the city afterwards, and then met up with everyone for dinner at Fajitas and Ritas after work. We had a few drinks at my house afterwards. A bunch of people went to Estate, but I passed.

Friday, the 4^th of July!

I got up and went over to Peter’s and helped him (aka watched him) set up for lunch. The number dropped from six to four, but we had hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, sauerkraut, potato salad and beans. Also, Pimms and lemonade, which is a fun summer drinks. Pimms is a British alcohol that is made from Gin. It tastes like iced tea/lemonade (half and half) when Pimms is mixed with lemonade.

So, we went to the fireworks on the Mass Ave bridge. We sat behind these loud obnoxious straight guys. I guess it’s par for the course when you sit on Mass Ave. The fireworks were great. Jeffrey and his friends came too…we watched and then walked home. I’ve never been in an angry mob before, but I can see the thrill of it. A couple thousand people deciding to walk down Mass ave with traffic coming, and the cars not really being able to do anything. I wouldn’t throw a shopping cart through a store front or anything, but it was fun to be in control of the road with everyone, if only for a little bit.

Saturday was SIX FLAGS. I had a blast. I went with Marco, Jeremy, Tim Daly, Mike Wake, James, Tony Ray, Bryan and Chris.

We arrived at the park and RAN to Superman. It was awesome because there was no lines at all. No wait. We walked right up. In fact, we rode Superman 3 times that afternoon. I think some people actually rode it more. Now, I’ve never had a problem with rollercoasters. Flip me upside down, backwards, anyway you want, and I won’t get queasy. So I went on every ride. The only disturbing part of the day was spending $14 on a chicken wrap for lunch. That, and riding a raft right under a waterfall, and felling the whole thing go down your back, as 8 of your closest friends look on and laugh at you.

It started to pour half way through the day, so we bought some poncho’s (super sexy) and rode the rides in the rain. Hey, it just meant the lines were even shorter. We stayed until about 5:30, and then headed home. Some of us went to dinner at Chef Chang’s, and then went to see Wanted with Angelina Jolie. I really liked the movie, others were indifferent. It was fun and corny, as most assassin movies are, but I like the special effects.

Sunday, I was up early again and off to visit Mom and Dad for their anniversary next week (23 years!)

Good long weekend!

ego can non levo meus telum

I decided (with a good push from Peter) to start lifting weights again. I think I do have some muscle already there somewhere, probably just hidden under a layer of a bit of chub and freckly pale skin. So, I thought, “What the hell,” and went with Peter at 8pm over to BSC. We did free weights, bench press, incline press, and decline press, followed by free weight biceps curls. It was a good sensation doing it….even though I realized how weak I had become after not lifting weights for almost a year, maybe longer. Jeremy made a good point (I know!) the other day about saying that just doing cardio and not doing weights doesn’t really help anything. He was right.

I have Disney in November and a Caribbean cruise in February, so I would like to see what I can do to help myself along until then. Lifting weights again will be a great help, but of course I’ll always have spin class as well.

That was last night.

Today, I could barely shampoo my hair, as I felt like when I lifted my arms I was also lifting three gallons of milk on each side. The only way I could brush my teeth was by putting the toothbrush on the edge of the sink and rubbing my face back and forth over it. It’s only been 12 hours, and I CAN’T WAIT to see how I feel tonight. Oh, that, and Peter and I are doing it all over again tomorrow morning.

Brownies es mortuus

I had a great time at Tony Ray’s BBQ.

The BBQ was at his boyfriend Chris’ apartment, which is a wonder little studio over on Clarendon St. You walk right into the kitchen from the street which opens into the living/bed area, and then out to a huge deck and garden.

Jeremy and I went (I even baked brownies) and also there were Matt Woodward, Matt Shuman, Paul, Jason and Stuart. We drank wine, Tony Ray made some amazing green apple martinis, and we just sort of all hung out and relaxed. Oh, and Tony gave me these great plastic ice cubes that change colors, and I want them….really bad.

So as the night slowed down, I gathered up my remaining brownies (stole a cookie) and we all headed out. Someone (Jeremy?) had the great idea to all go back to my house and hang out. So we headed over (the group above). Have you met drunk Bob? He tends to talk to strangers. He basically offered Chris’ neighbors some brownies (Jeremy: “What’s wrong with you?”), and as I was defending my actions to Jeremy, Matt W decided it would be a wonderful idea to kick the container of brownies I was holding as we walked down Warren St. The container, lid, brownies, and sole cookie literally arched themselves into the air, all over the street, and then was run over by a car.

Brownies es mortuus. To make it up to me, Matt bought a rickshaw ride for us from West Newton St to Mass Ave. I think he paid $20….oh well, I really liked those brownies.

We got home, and I realized I had 5 people over, and no margarita mix. I did, however, have frozen orange juice concentrate. I think, had I mixed it correctly, I could have made a really fun orange tequila drink. But since I just put a whole can of orange concentrate, with tequila and triple sec (orance liquor), I basically made tequila sorbet. Jason couldn’t even drink it.

A good night, saw friend I hadn’t seen in a while, and was able to say a goodbye to Stuart, whom I’m going to miss dearly.

On Sunday, I saw Get Smart with Jeremy.

meus micans ran absentis quod quispiam fluo a imbibo in meus caput capitis

Oh, Pride.

That magical time when it’s ok to drink during the day. It’s ok to actually wear that rainbow necklace you bought when you first came out. It’s ok for the gay caste system to mix. Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Twinks waive to Bears. Lesbians lend a helping hand to a gym bunnie, and a gay who’s 20 might actually talk to a gay who’s 30. A magical time, indeed!

Saturday morning, I got up early to wait for Dennis. Whenever Dennis comes to visit, I feel like a kid waiting for Santa Claus. He always comes early in the day, and so I end getting up early, and waiting patiently for him to arrive. This time, however, we were also having a brunch. Adam got up early too, and we cleaned, cooked, and prepared for a small brunch before the parade. We call it “Gay eggs and ham.” Peter, Bryan, Jeffrey and Dennis. Adam made deconstructed egg sandwiches on English muffins, and we had a few mimosas and poinsettias (which is champagne and cranberry juice).

The parade this year was a little disappointing, but it was fun to see everyone out and about. About every 20 minutes, Dennis, John and I would pop into The Eagle and have a drink, so by the end, the parade was obviously better. After the parade some of us went back to our house for a few drinks, and along the way, I ran into Z H-J, who was visiting from out of town.

After lunch, and about two bottles of wine (now, it’s only about 4pm), people went home for their disco naps, and Z H-J stopped by to check out my apartment. We all headed over to Chef Chang’s for dinner, and had the best dinner I can remember. So much fun. People there know why, but I won’t go into details to protect the innocent.

Pre-gaming ensued at Marco’s and we surprised him with a trip to Disney World for his 31^st birthday. I’ve never seen Marco so excited. We’re going to have a lot of fun. We drank some more, and headed over to The Roxy.

The Roxy was $30 to get in. $30! $30! The only think that made up for it was they had the upstairs balcony’s open and we got a section of couches by one of the bars that vaguely made Bob & Co look VIP. But don’t worry, we destroyed that illusion quickly. Marco thought it would be a great idea to pour a drink on my head and also pour one down his pants. His reasoning? I kept saying “I’m gonna fuck you up this weekend.” So he decided to fuck me up instead. What does a Bob do in that situation? Cry. I cried at the Roxy. But it was ok in the end…the drink didn’t stain my shirt (it was clear) and John Martz took me the bathroom to fix my hair. Oh, and Danny flew up from Philly for the night, too.

By the end of the night, Z H-J went home with his friends, and I think I got a ride home from Dennis, John, Danny, and someone Danny found on the street. We dropped Sidewalk Sale home on the way back, and then got a pizza and crashed Peter and Bryan’s at 3am. I was SO tired, and SO hungry, that all I could do was eat my pizza, and also lay my head on their kitchen table. Dennis and I eventually got home, where I first tried to sleep on the floor, before I managed to get to my room.

Sunday. Ok, so there’s no delicate way to put this. I got up early, and was…oh…ok…just say it Bob…looking at porn. And of course, I was having “Bob Time” as I was perusing through X-Tube. Just when I was about to complete the logical ending to this event, I heard the loudest crashing sound ever right outside my window, to the point where I almost threw my computer across the room and thought G*d was punishing me. Seriously. Not cool.

For no reason whatsoever, a giant tree in my backyard fell, knocked over my neighbors grill, landed on a powerline, and feel into our yard, with tons of tree branches, leaves, etc everywhere. Almost every window on both sides of the alley had a face in it as everyone looked out to see the ruckus. So scary, and so poorly timed. So if anyone says I have the power to bring down powerlines, they’re not kidding!

Embarrasing Bob Moment #23459

Jamiacan Black Bean Soup and spin class do not mix!



I had a healthy serving of black bean soup from Au Bon Pain yesterday for lunch....I mean with 33g of fiber and 22g of protein, what's not good?



You know what's not good? Eating a bowl of fiber, and then spinning really fast on a stationary bike. You guys, I thought to G*d I was going to die!



One toot is ok...I mean there's loud music and it's dark, and no one notices. Four toots while you're doing a standing run, and the person next to you starts to look at you sideways. Then we did sprints and I thought seriously starting reliving that Margaret Cho story where she shit herself in the car. It was awful. I had to leave class early, everyone stares at you when you leave class early, and the person next to me kept smirking. I barely made it home....sort of like when I had Coq Au Vin at Petit Robert, Chinese Food at Aku Aku in Worcester, or the Oreo Blast at the movie theatre....



Moral of story kids? While it's important to eat healty and exercise frequently, don't toot and spin.

Bob & Co Weekend Festivities

My Birthday Weekend kicked some serious ass! It did. I've never been more touched by the support, and love of my friends and family, and I couldn't have thought of a better way to ring in being 30!

Thursday - My birthday kicked off at 12:01am with a birthday sandwich from Rob, John and Tim. I went to bed and did a little silent scream. I'M 30! I woke up to a plethera of birthday well wishes - phone calls, emails, texts, and Facebooks, etc. That day at work, I got a muffin from Jill, and a card from everyone at work. About 20 people made a joke about old age and it was all in good fun. That night, I went to Smith and Wollensky's with Peter, Bry, Marco, Jeremy, Adam and John. Restaurant week, so I wouldn't put too much of a financial strain on them. I got caesar salad, filet mignon with gorgonzola crust, and chocolate cake! Best birthday meal ever! After dinner. we all went back to 130, had some wine (Peter and Bryan bought me a case for my Bday!), and I chatted with Tim and Jeremy until almost 2am.

Friday - Woke up later because I had the day off from work. Peter and I hit the gym, and then came home to wait for Danny/Dennis/Noah. You know that scene from Christmas Vacation, where everything is very quiet right before the grandparents arrive, and time slows down as the door bell rings? That's what it was like. Because as soon as Danny and Dennis arrived, the weekend started. Danny gave me a great set of dishes for the new apartment, and we went for a walk to get a drink. Nothing was open at 4:45, so we headed back. Dinner that night was at Chef Chang's. We headed back to Marco's for some pregaming, and then partied the night away at Machine. I kissed a gypsy!

Saturday - I woke Danny up at 8:45 to see if he wanted to go to spin class. I got a look of death, and he rolled over. Dennis, John and I went to starbucks, and then Dennis and I got our eyebrows done. We had lunch at Pop's, and then John, Tim and I went to Stop and Shop to buy food and stuff for the party.

The Party....OMG. It was everything that I wanted and didn't want wrapped into one. I wanted one last big horrah before I left, and that was exactly what I got. Huge. No one could move, and there was a line of people waiting in the hall to get in. Someone threw up, it was about 400 degress in the house, etc, etc. I actually stayed sober the whole night (I know!) and got to see what it was like to actually proctor on of those parties. Did I have a good time? Yes! Would I do it again? Probably not. But I had fun, and got to see everyone, so it's all good.

Sunday - We rallied for lunch at 1 at TGIFridays. Then Adam and I went and set up a gift registry at Crate and Barrell for our apartment. Not that we expect people to buy us anything, but just so that we're both on the same page if we go to buy extra stuff this spring/summer, etc. That evening Peter and I went over to Stuart's to help celebrate his 30th birthday.

So all and all, it was a fantastic weekend, and I am truly blessed to be able to celebrate my life with my friends and loved ones :)